• Charli

Wellness Matters - Motivation15.07.2022

What motivates you? What gives you purpose? In this increasingly frenetic world where distractions seem to occur a million times a second, it is so easy to get drawn into an online world that has little or no bearing on the life in front of us.

I was reflecting on Johann Hari’s Book ‘Stolen Focus’ which I read a while ago now, and, towards the end Johann acknowledges that even after his hiatus on a remote island with little or no wifi connection, it wasn’t long after his return that he found himself scrolling through Twitter feeds and losing hours a week.

Although I have a natural switch off button from endless scrolling, I am conscious that I use the medium of social media to boost my presence and entice new clients, so in some ways I am guilty of being a perpetrator to scrolling. However, as this is only a “1 Minute read” enjoy it, put the phone away and get outside!

(I have to issue an apology here: I have been remiss at sending this blog and a newsletter directly to subscribers. I guess I lost heart when a few subscribers fell by the wayside, but I never was the kind of teacher who would blurt out ‘Unless the culprit owns up, the whole class will be staying in at break/lunch/after school. So I offer a sincere apology to my loyal subscribers who have gently nudged me, and you will receive this, and special offers via email as you requested).

I seem to have an internal guide which motivates me to get up in the morning, or perhaps it's the hungry wee dog patting the bed beside me, because I know that, for me, lounging around actually generates lethargy and apathy, which is fine for a holiday, or once in a while, but causes me angst about ‘life passing me by’. I know this isn’t true for everyone, but after conversations with several friends recently, my lasting friends are the ones who, however diverse, have an internal driver, a purpose for getting up, a need to feel satisfied that whatever they had determined to complete that day, has been achieved.

I’m not talking about high-powered executive types, or having a gazillion ‘To-Do’ lists, but hard working women who create a safe and comforting home life, care for a loved one, support family members at various stages of school, college, and employment transition. Some of these friends are in full time employment, some part time, some like me have struck out on their own, others are the nation’s unsung heroes: the silent carers.

Last week I had a guest in my holiday flat who was told they might die when a tumour was discovered in their brain, when they were 15 years old. After tests and observations they were given the all clear and have continued to live a healthy life - currently 60 years old. The trauma of a near-death experience created a mindset that nothing life could throw at them could be worse than thinking they were going to die aged 15 years old. They are maverick, with a zest for life, connecting and networking, travelling the world and motivated to make the very best of every day because they thought they had seen their last 45 years ago.

Sometimes I struggle to remain focussed at my desk and attend to tasks I have set for myself. Conversely when I am working for NBCCC I am focused, in the flow, and able to stay motivated until I have completed my contracted 7 hours (although invariably this leeches into 9 or 10 hours) every week.

Somehow working for others gives me a structure and boundary which motivate me to show up as my best self, and yet when I try to instil my own work ethic, I can easily justify having a longer lunch break, put off filing the pile of receipts and bank statements, and indulge in ‘busy-ness.’

Before beginning this blog I had a look through last year’s posts and was reminded of my participation in a Linkedin 5 day challenge, when I wrote the following:

I have stopped pretending to work and have accomplished more in the past 2 weeks than the last 2 months.

Finally I have my 'how to' and I am loving the feedback from my posts, the engagement and interaction.

There is no doubt I was riding the crest of a wave, but I soon reaslied that Linkedin wasn’t bringing in sufficient client footfall and could, potentially, become a full time job itself. My ideal clients hang out in my local community and on Twitter.

Although I don’t post on social media daily, I try to maintain contact 3 times a week: Monday Motivation, Wednesday Wellness and Friday Blog. Having structures and routines helps keep me motivated and productive.

It can be hard as a sole trader who thrives from feedback and recognition, but having analysed the recent data of footfall to my blog posts, I am delighted to see an increase in readership, and this is reflected in enquiries for my services.

This in itself has spurred me on, so take heart, if you have had a setback, think about attending it with care and consideration, and instead of reaching for the glass of wine, put your headphones on, play dance music really loud and go walking, running, rowing or swimming. I did this on Tuesday when I thought my head would explode with frustration and disappointment, and the relief of ½ hour on my rowing machine was tangible. I had been on a call with a trusted person who had offered their services as supervisor, but could only suggest that I pour a large glass of wine and try to relax. WHAT??? I was so hurt and angry that this was even a consideration - they did not know that I have worked hard at not using alcohol as an emotional prop, but this could have sent me down a very difficult path to return from. In actual fact, I haven’t had a drink since last Saturday.

Please be very careful what ‘advice’ you offer people, especially with food and drink. Safest options that have evidence to back them are:

  • Go for a walk

  • Write it down

  • Talk to a trusted other

  • If you require mental health crisis support services:

  • NHS 24: telephone 111

  • Breathing Space: 0800 83 85 87

  • Samaritans: 116 123 or email

“My mission in life is not merely to survive but to thrive and to do so with some passion, some compassion, some humour and some style” Maya Angelou

Photo: I was motivated to pursue Pilates while our teacher is on holiday. I recommend Move With Nicole on You Tube

Happy Birthday Darling Tillie XX

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