• Charli

Wellness Matters 25.03.2022

Consider Yourself

Coincidentally a number of my 6 week coaching and Being Well sessions are drawing to a close, and while I have new clients lined up and other freelance opportunities, I have learned to recognise that effective closure and managed endings are as crucial to the coaching process as building the relationship.

Yesterday I was delighted to receive verbal feedback from a young client with autism and ADHD, that the work we have completed has had a significant impact on their ability to manage transition and moments of frustration. That’s not to say that challenges don’t and won’t arise because none of us gets it right every time, but by having a trusted approach to wellness and wellbeing, such as daily affirmations, taking a moment to chill and still and believing in better, they have learned to influence events to achieve a positive outcome.

Today I was told by a relatively new head teacher, that my coaching approach has been the best part of their leadership journey, during their Into Headship programme. They now have high hopes, and meaningful intentions for their school community.

There are numerous ways in which to bring gratitude into your life and it begins with the smallest habits: smiling or saying thank you to anyone who acts in the service industry and who may get overlooked: shop workers, street sweepers, council gardeners, a neighbour. THis is something that comes naturally to me, but it wasn’t until I started every day with 3 things to be grateful for, that I truly leaned into my values of perseverance, integrity and connection, and reframed the narrative to begin each day more positively. It takes time, dedication and practice, but it does work.

You can download the free 5 minute journal or, for an in-depth approach, get in touch and I will work with you to help you align your desires with reality using my Being Well resource: a 6 week programme for improved wellbeing and wellness.

I no longer talk about goals because if we consider a football analogy the goal is either in or out and when we get distracted from our intentions, veering off course, it can feel like failure. Instead of goals, I talk about intentions, desires or achievable aims, so that reality can be factored in. That way, when we have to retrace our steps, realign our intentions and continue on the road less travelled but equally enticing, it isn’t quite so onerous. Think about any journey you might take whether by foot, bus, bike or car. Rarely does it pan out as you intended: you might bump into a friend and have a chat, which delays you. Or a stone gets in your shoe. There might be heavy traffic on the road, a car might break down, a puncture might impede a bike ride… You get the picture: nothing is ever as smooth as we imagine it to be, and neither is setting intentions for a grateful life.

So when you try to make changes to improve the way you live your life, and stumble, it’s so easy to give up, and in order for any of this to be successful you have to be true to yourself, and those around you.

And let me be very clear: making change is HARD!! We are all so used to sticking with the ‘what you see is what you get’ mentality, we fear being judged if we shift our demeanour.

A neighbour who has caused me unnecessary consternation, apologised ‘for all his inconveniences’ before Christmas, but then went on to cause more upset. I received another apology in February, but nothing has changed for them, and they have resorted to intimidating and aggressive behaviour. It’s exhausting, and the temptation is to retaliate by swearing and snarling when I see them, but I have learned to remain calm because I will not allow their negativity to interfere with my plans and intentions. It has taken months to get to this point - in fact 222 days, because that is how long I have been practicing affirmations.

So before you decide that change is too difficult (as clearly my neighbour does) trust me when I say that you are the master of your own destiny and you can affect how that looks.

I have loved the weather this week and I hope you have to. Stay safe and be well.

Photo: North Berwick Seabird Centre at 06:30

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