• Charli

Wellness Matters 18.02.2022

Letting Go

Letting Go

You know there are days when you just feel meh! And so you dust yourself down and soldier on. And then 2 days become 3 which become 4, and no matter what you tell yourself, there is a sludge that doesn't lift?

And so it goes on and then one day, while you’re walking your wee dog, you start to feel dizzy and faint and your legs have turned to lead. You're not far from home and the urge to sit down on a bench is huge, but to sink into your own settee is even stronger. You breathe deeply - that’s what you’ve been told to do, and begin to focus on getting home.

The ground feels very uneven (except it's not) and you tentatively feel your way back home.

This is 0900 on a calm sunny Thursday morning, and you haven’t been drinking or staying up late.

That was me yesterday. I felt dreadful. Completed 2 Covid LFTs - both negative. I was due to meet a friend for a drink in the evening but messaged to say I would be staying put. And when she kindly offered to take wee dug out for two walks, I said “Yes, please”.

I barely moved from the settee other than to make hot drinks, lunch, tea and pop to the toilet.

I didn’t even manage 5,000 steps let alone my self-imposed 12,000.

Many years ago I was diagnosed with a condition called Benign Positional Vertigo and have a repeat prescription of Prochlorperazine. I haven’t needed them for ages, because stress was often a trigger for dizzy episodes, but I located my emergency stash, and the nausea soon began to subside.

Over the past few months I’ve had a few episodes of feeling faint, raised heartbeat and overheating, and put it down to having low blood pressure. But more recently the episodes have been after I’ve had breakfast, so my blood sugar should have been high.

Of course, I phoned the doctor and heard their greeting:

“In an emergency hang up and dial 999; for minor ailments use NHS Inform and / or see your pharmacist.”

I duly did as I was bade, consulted NHS Inform and believe I might have a condition called Postural Tachycardia Syndrome (PoTS), which ironically was the name my daughters gave to their grandfather: Pots!

It’s fairly common and reasonably easy to maintain as I already have a healthy lifestyle, but raising my own awareness was key. Initially I was worried because both my father and aunt died of heart attacks, but my heart was tracked a few years ago, and no underlying issues were identified. I have made an appointment to see a doctor, but I’m not concerned.

Whatever happened yesterday was possibly either PoTS or a case of Over-Doing-It-itis!

After a day of inactivity, no desk work whatsoever, and 9 hours sleep, I feel amazing.

The point is, I and many others, will encourage you to keep moving - and to a degree I did yesterday because I live in a double upper, with cosy lounge upstairs and kitchen down, so moving was inevitable. However, my body needed a day of complete rest and I am grateful to my daughters and friends who encouraged me to do just that. I also listened to my gut to ensure that I allowed myself no reproach, no guilt, no shame.

I let go of my expectations, I let go of overthinking and second guessing, and I let go of doing anything meaningful, like study. I binge watched Chloe on iPlayer (it’s good), drank copious amounts of water and hot drinks, and have more energy today than has been evident for a couple of weeks.

Whatever your exercise routine, remember everyone needs periods of rest. Let go of the external voices that push you on, and learn to switch off. I’m now going to make sure I do this more regularly.

Stay safe in Storm Eunice. Be kind to yourselves.

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