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Too Much Information?

In a fairly foolhardy and brave move last night He and I agreed that we would head to IKEA this morning.

As with many things in life: walking the dog in the wind and rain; Marmite; alcohol; coffee; tea,  IKEA is a real love/hate experience. We all know that in so many ways the designers, materials, layout and satisfaction are a massive selling point. But we also acknowledge that we will be lulled into a false sense of security upon entering the warehouse. For those of us who can face it (nay actually enjoy the experience), no matter how small the shopping list is – which might total no more than £30 in our heads -suddenly £90 (+) is spent.

I have learned to by-pass the Show Rooms because that is the gateway to spending hell, unless you genuinely need a cheap interior design experience, and instead head straight for the Market Place. I absolutely know what I have come in for and yet as He noticed this morning, I’m like a kid in a sweetie shop, almost drooling with anticipation of what I could have if I had the wherewithal. Actually if I had the wherewithal, I probably wouldn’t shop in IKEA. Although some elements of design supersede expense!

Personally, I prefer the meerkat analogy: heads up to have  good look around.

The aim for this morning’s mission was to procure a few bits n bobs for City Centre – Sleeps 4! (Airbnb). One or two smaller items made their way into the shopping trolley but nothing of serious expense.

All was well – the lovely young woman on the till was chatty, friendly and super keen on our purchases. However when she asked ‘So, what do you have planned for the rest of the day?’ my blood ran cold.

I have been asked this question a few times recently and so am aware it must be part of some marketing campaign.

I go to shop because I need to. I am not there to answer for my actions. Does it really matter what I am doing for the rest of the day? What if I said  ‘Actually I’m burying  my father/mother/sister/rabbit/dog/cat this afternoon’ would that be acceptable?

I fully understand why marketing companies think it is a good idea to connect with their clientele, but this is one step too far.

I would say this to all marketing companies – if you want to connect with your clients then spend a couple of days in Glasgow. There they just get it. Within minutes, whether you like it or not, you know as much about the assistant as they know about you.

That is symbiosis. This works in retail. This is therapy.

Too Much Information – a poem

Have a good day, now.

We cringed at those words.

How can I help you?

Connection for sales.

That looks great on you.

Dishonest and insincere.

What are your plans for the rest of the day?

None of your business, I want to declare.

Who are you, why are you?

Just let me be.

I need a new coat

not your empathy.

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